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There are a myriad of cues, tactics, and strategies learned in graduate school to practice speech-language therapy; however, often the most valuable are learned through actual clinical practice. One such tool I’ve discovered is the use of “co-regulation” as a conscious strategy to facilitate participation and engagement with dysregulated and oppositional students.
I've had multiple teachers share that their students return from therapy happier and calmer and ask what my “secret” is. Those acknowledgements have caused me to reflect on what I naturally do to soothe and engage children. With a little research, I discovered the concept of “co-regulation,” and I believe this is the “magic” happening in my most effective sessions.
If you are unfamiliar, co-regulation is described as the process of one individual’s regulated (i.e., calm) nervous system helping another individual’s nervous system regulate through connection and interaction. It is the opposite of emotional reactivity, which escalates an already dysregulated system. The best teachers, parents, and therapists recognize that staying calm during a child’s meltdown or oppositional behavior is best practice and requires self-awareness and discipline to maintain. Like everything in clinical practice, it takes practice. Below are some techniques and tips I have found useful for regulating myself in the presence of the children I treat.
Tips to Assist Self-Regulation
1. Breathing Pattern
Be aware of your breathing pattern and notice if you’re holding your breath or if it isn’t flowing smoothly into your belly. Begin regulating the length of each inhalation to match the length of your exhalation. Allow your breath to deepen enough to fill your belly (i.e., diaphragmatic breathing).
2. Release Physical Tension
Notice how much muscular tension you’re holding in your body and consciously release it. Pay particular attention to jaw clenching, raised shoulders, and furrowed brows.
3. Ground Yourself
Whether you’re seated, standing, or walking, become aware of the parts of your body supported by the chair or floor. Draw acute attention to the points of contact and allow yourself to become “heavier,” leaning into that support.
4. Adjust Expectations
If you’re like me, you likely have pre-planned activities, materials, and goals you intend to target during a session. Recognize that you may need to alter your agenda to allow the child a sense of control and ownership within the session.
Tips to Help Cultivate Co-Regulation
1. Attune to the child
Literally “tune in” to the child’s initial state and foster acceptance of it. If they are screaming, flailing, or crying, try to witness the behavior without immediately attempting to fix or react to it. (Clearly, if the child is in danger of harming themselves or others, action is required to maintain safety.)
2. Help Name the Emotion
Providing verbal or visual prompts to help the child identify their emotion validates their experience and demonstrates empathy. You can also ask how they WANT to feel and what might help them feel that way, reminding them that they do not have to remain stuck in a negative emotional state.
3. Get On Their Level
Adults often physically tower over children, creating an inherent power imbalance. Crouching down or kneeling to interact with the child demonstrates an attempt to connect and collaborate rather than control or dominate.
4. Use a Calm Voice and Slow Body Movements
As we know, vocal tone and body language communicate as much as—if not more than—our words. A child’s nervous system interprets nonverbal communication as either threatening or safe. To co-regulate effectively, your body language must communicate physical and emotional safety. Be mindful of whether the child is comforted by close proximity or whether they need more physical space.
5. Let Them Lead
From morning until night, adults typically control most aspects of a child’s day—activities, locations, food choices, and schedules. Some children are more comfortable with this dynamic than others. Periodically demonstrating flexibility and willingness to follow the child’s lead can foster a sense of control and agency, which may help regulate their nervous system. (Obviously, this is an ongoing balance.)
6. Monitor Your Self-Regulation in the Child's Presence
This is perhaps the most important tip—and the most challenging to master. Continue monitoring your breathing, physical tension, tone of voice, movements, and expectations throughout the session, and actively work to remain calmly regulated. In the simplest terms, your emotional state can influence theirs.
-Suzanne Burleson M.A., CCC-SLP
Reference:
https://childmind.org/article/what-is-co-regulation/#co-regulation-begins-with-self-regulation
Date
Share
There are a myriad of cues, tactics, and strategies learned in graduate school to practice speech-language therapy; however, often the most valuable are learned through actual clinical practice. One such tool I’ve discovered is the use of “co-regulation” as a conscious strategy to facilitate participation and engagement with dysregulated and oppositional students.
I've had multiple teachers share that their students return from therapy happier and calmer and ask what my “secret” is. Those acknowledgements have caused me to reflect on what I naturally do to soothe and engage children. With a little research, I discovered the concept of “co-regulation,” and I believe this is the “magic” happening in my most effective sessions.
If you are unfamiliar, co-regulation is described as the process of one individual’s regulated (i.e., calm) nervous system helping another individual’s nervous system regulate through connection and interaction. It is the opposite of emotional reactivity, which escalates an already dysregulated system. The best teachers, parents, and therapists recognize that staying calm during a child’s meltdown or oppositional behavior is best practice and requires self-awareness and discipline to maintain. Like everything in clinical practice, it takes practice. Below are some techniques and tips I have found useful for regulating myself in the presence of the children I treat.
Tips to Assist Self-Regulation
1. Breathing Pattern
Be aware of your breathing pattern and notice if you’re holding your breath or if it isn’t flowing smoothly into your belly. Begin regulating the length of each inhalation to match the length of your exhalation. Allow your breath to deepen enough to fill your belly (i.e., diaphragmatic breathing).
2. Release Physical Tension
Notice how much muscular tension you’re holding in your body and consciously release it. Pay particular attention to jaw clenching, raised shoulders, and furrowed brows.
3. Ground Yourself
Whether you’re seated, standing, or walking, become aware of the parts of your body supported by the chair or floor. Draw acute attention to the points of contact and allow yourself to become “heavier,” leaning into that support.
4. Adjust Expectations
If you’re like me, you likely have pre-planned activities, materials, and goals you intend to target during a session. Recognize that you may need to alter your agenda to allow the child a sense of control and ownership within the session.
Tips to Help Cultivate Co-Regulation
1. Attune to the child
Literally “tune in” to the child’s initial state and foster acceptance of it. If they are screaming, flailing, or crying, try to witness the behavior without immediately attempting to fix or react to it. (Clearly, if the child is in danger of harming themselves or others, action is required to maintain safety.)
2. Help Name the Emotion
Providing verbal or visual prompts to help the child identify their emotion validates their experience and demonstrates empathy. You can also ask how they WANT to feel and what might help them feel that way, reminding them that they do not have to remain stuck in a negative emotional state.
3. Get On Their Level
Adults often physically tower over children, creating an inherent power imbalance. Crouching down or kneeling to interact with the child demonstrates an attempt to connect and collaborate rather than control or dominate.
4. Use a Calm Voice and Slow Body Movements
As we know, vocal tone and body language communicate as much as—if not more than—our words. A child’s nervous system interprets nonverbal communication as either threatening or safe. To co-regulate effectively, your body language must communicate physical and emotional safety. Be mindful of whether the child is comforted by close proximity or whether they need more physical space.
5. Let Them Lead
From morning until night, adults typically control most aspects of a child’s day—activities, locations, food choices, and schedules. Some children are more comfortable with this dynamic than others. Periodically demonstrating flexibility and willingness to follow the child’s lead can foster a sense of control and agency, which may help regulate their nervous system. (Obviously, this is an ongoing balance.)
6. Monitor Your Self-Regulation in the Child's Presence
This is perhaps the most important tip—and the most challenging to master. Continue monitoring your breathing, physical tension, tone of voice, movements, and expectations throughout the session, and actively work to remain calmly regulated. In the simplest terms, your emotional state can influence theirs.
-Suzanne Burleson M.A., CCC-SLP
Reference:
https://childmind.org/article/what-is-co-regulation/#co-regulation-begins-with-self-regulation
