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Communication and emotional regulation are intertwined skills that help us form relationships, maintain connections with other people, respond to conflicts that can emerge, and ensure our needs are being met. While speech-language pathologists primarily focus on communication skills in therapy sessions, having an understanding of emotional regulation and its role in communication is vital to teaching communication skills to our clients when they are upset or are experiencing bigger emotions.
The Brain, Emotion, and Communication
Our brains have a few major regions that control different skills we use in everyday life. The brainstem at the bottom of our brain is involved in vital functions we need to stay alive, such as breathing, heart rate, and staying conscious. The limbic system in the middle of the brain, sometimes nicknamed the "reptile brain," has areas that are involved in maintaining internal balance and regulation in our bodies. The limbic system also has brain structures that are involved in regulating emotions and our fight-or-flight response to challenges. Finally, the cerebral cortex or "thinking brain" on the outside of our brain is involved in complex skills such as thinking, planning, and communicating.
When we experience strong emotions, they can cause our "thinking brain" to become harder to access and guide what we do. When that happens, our "reptile brain" can take over and engage our fight-or-flight response to whatever situation we're dealing with. This means that when we are feeling strong emotions or are interacting with someone else who's experiencing strong emotions, words and language become harder to access. This is one reason why it's often challenging to have a long, detailed conversation with someone when at least one of you is upset. So how can we apply this knowledge in our work with clients on communication?
Strategies to facilitate communication
There are several strategies speech-language pathologists can use with clients to support communication during periods where emotional regulation is needed.
When emotions are running high, focus on regulation first, then communication. If a client enters a session and is visibly distressed, they may not be able to access language to explain what's going on. It can be helpful to take a couple minutes to label what you're seeing, validate the emotions being expressed, and allowing the client to sit with the feelings. Then, you can try out some regulation strategies such as taking a few slow breaths, or looking at & naming 5 objects they can see in the room, 4 things they can touch, or 3 things they can feel. Once they feel calmer, you can then ask if they want to talk about what's going on.
When it's hard to think of open-ended answers, start with closed-ended questions. If a client is ready to talk about what's going on, it can be challenging for them to think of longer, open-ended answers to questions while they're still processing their emotions. At the beginning of the conversation, I like to start with closed-ended questions that have yes or no answers to get a sense of what might be happening. I'll ask questions like, "Is something happening at school? At home? With a friend?" and see what they answer. This helps me narrow down what might be going on, and it gives them time to continue processing until they're ready to talk more about the situation that's upsetting them.
Lead with being present over using logic. When someone is upset or experiencing strong emotions, it is much more difficult for them to process and understand words. This is because the emotions make it harder for them to access parts of the thinking brain to use or understand logic. Because of this, it can be more helpful to focus on being present with the client in these situations to help them regulate, rather than trying to talk at length and using a lot of longer sentences. You being present, showing them you care, and sharing your calm with them will help them co-regulate by helping them "borrow" your calmness to bring them closer to a more emotionally neutral state. This blog article has more information on what co-regulation is and how we as SLPs can help facilitate it: The Magic of Co-regulation.
Validate emotions over trying to fix things. When someone is upset, it can be tempting to try to reassure them by saying things like "You're okay," or "It's going to be okay." When someone is emotionally dysregulated, however, oftentimes they may not be feeling okay internally. Making statements such as these when they're feeling dysregulated can invalidate their internal experiences and not match how they currently feel. Instead, you can validate the emotions that you're seeing by saying things such as, "It looks like something upsetting happened. I'm here for you." If they share what's happening to make them upset, you can try labeling the emotions as appropriate to teach them the emotional vocabulary, by saying something like "That must be upsetting/difficult/frustrating/scary/making you feel sad." Acknowledging the emotions present and reminding them you're there for them can not only help them process the emotions, but teach them language they can use to communicate their emotions with others.
The takeaway
At the end of the day, part of our role as SLPs is to connect with our clients and support their communication skills. Facilitating emotional regulation is a skill that allows SLPs to build the foundation to then practice effective communication strategies. SLPs can be part of the team of adults who model emotional regulation skills for our clients so that they can learn these skills and support their own developing communication skills in therapy.
References:
John Hopkins Medicine, Brain Anatomy and How the Brain Works. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/anatomy-of-the-brain
Cleveland Clinic, Limbic System. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/limbic-system
Suzanne Burleson, The Magic of Co-regulation: https://www.sidekicktherapypartners.com/articles/the-magic-of-co-regulation
Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain. https://drdansiegel.com/hand-model-of-the-brain/
-Ian Quillen M.S., CCC-SLP
Date
Share
Communication and emotional regulation are intertwined skills that help us form relationships, maintain connections with other people, respond to conflicts that can emerge, and ensure our needs are being met. While speech-language pathologists primarily focus on communication skills in therapy sessions, having an understanding of emotional regulation and its role in communication is vital to teaching communication skills to our clients when they are upset or are experiencing bigger emotions.
The Brain, Emotion, and Communication
Our brains have a few major regions that control different skills we use in everyday life. The brainstem at the bottom of our brain is involved in vital functions we need to stay alive, such as breathing, heart rate, and staying conscious. The limbic system in the middle of the brain, sometimes nicknamed the "reptile brain," has areas that are involved in maintaining internal balance and regulation in our bodies. The limbic system also has brain structures that are involved in regulating emotions and our fight-or-flight response to challenges. Finally, the cerebral cortex or "thinking brain" on the outside of our brain is involved in complex skills such as thinking, planning, and communicating.
When we experience strong emotions, they can cause our "thinking brain" to become harder to access and guide what we do. When that happens, our "reptile brain" can take over and engage our fight-or-flight response to whatever situation we're dealing with. This means that when we are feeling strong emotions or are interacting with someone else who's experiencing strong emotions, words and language become harder to access. This is one reason why it's often challenging to have a long, detailed conversation with someone when at least one of you is upset. So how can we apply this knowledge in our work with clients on communication?
Strategies to facilitate communication
There are several strategies speech-language pathologists can use with clients to support communication during periods where emotional regulation is needed.
When emotions are running high, focus on regulation first, then communication. If a client enters a session and is visibly distressed, they may not be able to access language to explain what's going on. It can be helpful to take a couple minutes to label what you're seeing, validate the emotions being expressed, and allowing the client to sit with the feelings. Then, you can try out some regulation strategies such as taking a few slow breaths, or looking at & naming 5 objects they can see in the room, 4 things they can touch, or 3 things they can feel. Once they feel calmer, you can then ask if they want to talk about what's going on.
When it's hard to think of open-ended answers, start with closed-ended questions. If a client is ready to talk about what's going on, it can be challenging for them to think of longer, open-ended answers to questions while they're still processing their emotions. At the beginning of the conversation, I like to start with closed-ended questions that have yes or no answers to get a sense of what might be happening. I'll ask questions like, "Is something happening at school? At home? With a friend?" and see what they answer. This helps me narrow down what might be going on, and it gives them time to continue processing until they're ready to talk more about the situation that's upsetting them.
Lead with being present over using logic. When someone is upset or experiencing strong emotions, it is much more difficult for them to process and understand words. This is because the emotions make it harder for them to access parts of the thinking brain to use or understand logic. Because of this, it can be more helpful to focus on being present with the client in these situations to help them regulate, rather than trying to talk at length and using a lot of longer sentences. You being present, showing them you care, and sharing your calm with them will help them co-regulate by helping them "borrow" your calmness to bring them closer to a more emotionally neutral state. This blog article has more information on what co-regulation is and how we as SLPs can help facilitate it: The Magic of Co-regulation.
Validate emotions over trying to fix things. When someone is upset, it can be tempting to try to reassure them by saying things like "You're okay," or "It's going to be okay." When someone is emotionally dysregulated, however, oftentimes they may not be feeling okay internally. Making statements such as these when they're feeling dysregulated can invalidate their internal experiences and not match how they currently feel. Instead, you can validate the emotions that you're seeing by saying things such as, "It looks like something upsetting happened. I'm here for you." If they share what's happening to make them upset, you can try labeling the emotions as appropriate to teach them the emotional vocabulary, by saying something like "That must be upsetting/difficult/frustrating/scary/making you feel sad." Acknowledging the emotions present and reminding them you're there for them can not only help them process the emotions, but teach them language they can use to communicate their emotions with others.
The takeaway
At the end of the day, part of our role as SLPs is to connect with our clients and support their communication skills. Facilitating emotional regulation is a skill that allows SLPs to build the foundation to then practice effective communication strategies. SLPs can be part of the team of adults who model emotional regulation skills for our clients so that they can learn these skills and support their own developing communication skills in therapy.
References:
John Hopkins Medicine, Brain Anatomy and How the Brain Works. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/anatomy-of-the-brain
Cleveland Clinic, Limbic System. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/limbic-system
Suzanne Burleson, The Magic of Co-regulation: https://www.sidekicktherapypartners.com/articles/the-magic-of-co-regulation
Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain. https://drdansiegel.com/hand-model-of-the-brain/
-Ian Quillen M.S., CCC-SLP
